Why Are We Afraid to Step Outside Our Comfort Zone?

Our comfort zone is an artificial mental boundary that we create based on our belief systems.

Our belief systems are what we believe about ourselves, our world, and how everything works – it’s what we think is right or wrong and true or false about life. There are two types of beliefs – supportive beliefs and limiting beliefs.

You can create your whole life just by what you believe is possible! You achieve what you believe. Look for possibilities and you can achieve anything you believe.

Your comfort zone comes from your limiting beliefs about what is possible for you. Negative messaging often comes from others such as well-meaning parents, teachers, friends, peers, coaches, the media, etc. and sounds like “you’re not old enough”, “you’re not good enough”, “you don’t have enough experience”, and “you’re not smart enough”, etc.  Watch out for negative messaging!

When you live in your comfort zone, you limit what is possible for you. However, for most people it is where we feel most comfortable – where things feel familiar and we know what to expect.

Pushing outside our comfort zone can be a big source of fear for most people – keeping them from going after their biggest dreams. According to the dictionary, fear is an “emotional response to a perceived threat”. Our emotions are a result of the thoughts we have about that experience, the meaning we assign to it – essentially, our thoughts create our fear.

The bad news is our thoughts create our fear. The good news is we create our thoughts.

Everyone feels some level of anxiety or fear when stepping outside of their comfort zone – if they didn’t, then by definition it, wouldn’t be outside of their comfort zone.

Feelings of anxiety or fear are often caused by one of the following concerns:

1. Fear of the unknown
2. Fear about our ability to handle what’s new (self-doubt)
3. Fear of judgment from others

How to Tell When Your Children Are Afraid?

Anytime your children go through a change, they will probably feel some level of anxiety or fear.

This is because of the lack of neural pathways in their brains. Neural pathways are connections in our brains that are formed when we learn something new and by our experiences. In a new situation our brain doesn’t know how to think about it so it puts our body on alert.

Children are going through constant change, such as moving, entering a new school, grade level, getting a new teacher, having to meet new friends, divorce, etc.

Several signs can help us spot fear in our children – anxiety, procrastination, and avoiding risks. Provide a “safe place” for children to express their fears. Children’s fears are very real to them. When children come to us, taking time to acknowledge their feelings is important. It can be scary to venture outside your comfort zone – especially for children who don’t have much experience at it. Often just talking about their fear can make the situation seem less intimidating. Walk through the steps of managing fear with them.

5 Steps of Managing Fear

1. Name the Fear
2. Explore the Fear
3. Develop Your Plan
4. Visualize Success
5. Take Action!

For more information on helping your children step outside their “Comfort Zone” and on the  “5 Steps of Managing Fear” contact me on the Contact Form on this website.  I look forward to hearing from you.

Confident Kids-Born to Sparkle

Sherrilu Pollon,

Certified Life Coach