Let’s face it we are in a time where fear or anxiety seems to be a normal part of our everyday life. If you avidly listen to the news your whole body may feel like it’s on high alert.

According to the dictionary the meaning of fear –

Fear is an emotion induced by a perceived danger or threat, which causes physiological changes and ultimately behavioral changes, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events.

The meaning of the word anxiety –

A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

Looking at the meaning of both fear and anxiety they are emotions or feelings. Our emotions or feelings are a result of the thoughts we are having about a particular event that may happen or the meaning we assign to it – essentially, our thoughts create our fear.

There is so much uncertainty currently that not only are some adults feeling overwhelming anxiety/fear but children who have far less life experiences are feeling the brunt of fear and anxiety.

What does anxiety/fear look like in children?

• They are having trouble sleeping,
• Could be more prone to burst into tears or get angry,
• They might feel as though they have butterflies in their stomach,
• Or feel sick wanting to vomit so their appetite is decreased,
• They may feel like their heart is about to jump out of their chest.

Children only know that they don’t feel good and they don’t understand that the cause is anxiety. Children don’t have enough life experiences to know that these feelings are perfectly normal. They don’t feel good but the child is not defective in fact anxiety shows up to check that you’re okay, not to tell you that you’re not.

Anxiety can happen to anyone. Children are listening to the adults in their lives and even though they may not be sitting directly listening to the news broadcasts they are hearing them.

Anxiety happens because of an amazing part of your brain called the amygdala. It’s the small almond shaped part of your brain that is there to protect you. In fact that’s it’s only job. If it perceives a threat of any kind it switches on. It doesn’t check things out first, it just jumps into action and when this happens your body goes through a number of changes. Your amygdala powers up your body with extra oxygen, hormones, and adrenaline in case you need to fight or take flight. Of course, if there is real danger this all comes in handy to either fight off what’s attacking or run away from it but, if there is no need to run or fight, there is nothing to use up all the fuel surging through you, and it just keeps building up. This is why even though your amygdala is doing exactly what it’s supposed to you don’t feel very good.

So, what can you do to help your child?

First off, take notice when your child is telling you;

• that their stomach doesn’t feel good, 
• they can’t sleep,
• they are more emotional than usual, or
• that they are feeling like they have a headache a lot of the time.

Most of the time the child won’t know exactly why they feel these feelings.  So, it will take some exploration on your part as the parent or caregiver.  Then, you will be able to help them understand that they are okay. 

Opening up lines of communication and finding out what their thoughts are on events that are happening around them.  Sometimes, what we may feel is causing the fear or anxiety in our child is way off course.  By talking to your child you may find out it’s something completely different than what you thought.  It’s not enough to tell them that the adults in their lives will look after things.  It’s important to explore what their thoughts are.

When exploring what their thoughts are, the child needs to name the fear. Say it out loud. Many times people don’t want to talk about being afraid for fear of appearing weak. However, just speaking our fear and naming it can lessen its power over us. Speaking your fear shifts the fear from being in your head, to something to be talked about and dealt with.

The more you face your fears, the fewer of them you’ll have.  When you understand that your brain is just trying to protect you then, you can implement some strategies to calm it down.

Once you’ve acknowledged what your fear is or why you’re feeling anxious then it’s time to build some new neural pathways in your brain so it knows how to deal with that situation should it ever arise again.  Neural pathways are connections or pathways in our brain that are built every time we try or experience something new. These pathways become stronger the more we repeat the activity.  Then they become part of our belief system as well as our comfort zone. 

So, by exploring our fears we can develop a plan for how to handle what’s in our control. Then, develop options for what we can do about what’s not in our control.  By doing both of these we are building new neural pathways which in turn will ease our fears.