Don’t Crush My Dreams

Being January, the beginning of a new year I thought it would be good to introduce “Vision” and “Goal Setting” to the youth group that I’ve been working with.  These kids are between the ages of 12 and 15. One week I introduced “Vision” and had them decide what they wanted in their life, what they were really passionate about. Then the next week we worked on “Goal Setting” to make these visions become reality and had them go through the steps.

• Why is the goal important to them,
• Identify the tasks that need to be completed to accomplish the goal,
• Assigning a start and finish date to each task, and
• Showing them how to track the status.

Once this was completed and they were happy with what they had, I told them to take this home and hang it up where they would see it every day.

Two of the girls in my group had very sad statements about how their parents would react seeing their goals…..

The one girl wanted to be a famous singer and she would take any opportunity she got to get up and sing in front of people, she even decided to start a choir at her school.  This was something she was passionate about, but when I told her to hang up her vision sheet where she would see it daily she informed me that her mom would be very upset because her mom wanted her to focus on something that was more down to earth.

The other girl wanted to be a hairdresser.  When one of her goals was to visit a hairdressing school in a nearby city to become informed on what education would be required, cost, and exactly what all was involved in being a hairdresser, her mother’s response was, “you should concentrate on getting out of grade 6 before you worry about what you will be when you finish school”.

Are these bad parents?  No, they aren’t.

What is happening here, is, these parents love their girls but don’t want them to be hurt or unhappy if they don’t become what the they are envisioning for themselves. The parents are operating from their own belief systems.  It’s about how they choose to see themselves in their world and what they believe is possible for their lives.

We all have belief systems and understanding how our mind works is the key to understanding why we are who we are as well as the key to shaping who we want to be.

There are two types of beliefs, supportive beliefs and limiting beliefs.  If you’ve ever watched young children playing they are anything and everything they can imagine. One day a princess the next day a superhero. They are on top of the world, anything is possible!  But, by the age of 7 or 8, many children have already started comparing themselves to other children.  At 4 they could do anything and at 7 or 8  fear, self-doubt, and judgement is often creeping into their lives.

As humans, we create beliefs about ourselves and our world. These beliefs are the filters we use to assign meaning to everything that happens in our lives. They impact our thoughts about love, relationships, money, work, friends, family, education, parenting, health, religion, weight, gender, race, etc. and directly impact how we handle situations involving these areas of our lives.

While some people understand how belief systems work, most do not!  Most people are never taught about the power of belief systems, thinking in “possibility”, or given the tools to help them achieve their greatest dreams.  Instead, limiting beliefs and limited thinking are passed from generation to generation, often subconsciously.

Understanding how your conscious mind and your subconscious mind works, and how your belief systems work are critical for having a happy life and making your dreams come true.  The good news is that you get to choose what you believe – most people just don’t know how!