This is an interesting topic. At what age should a child start learning to be responsible? I suspect there are many differing views on this topic.

When children are little they love to help so why not let them. If a child can figure out how to get the toys off the shelf or out of the toy box, it only makes sense that they have the capacity to get the toys back where they belong.

The key is to set reasonable expectations.

Give your child age appropriate tasks and perhaps even special tasks to help you out. It may be necessary to complete the task with your child the first few times. There are very few times when you try something new that you master it on the first try. Children love to play so make the clean-up fun.

This is an excellent time to practice positive self-talk such as, “I improve with practice”, “I keep trying until I get it”, “I do my best”, etc.

When children help around the house, offer encouragement to reinforce the behavior. You might say, “You organized your toys so well” or a simple, “thank you that was very helpful”. The phrase, “Good job” is so overused.  Also, it’s much clearer to the child when they know exactly what they’ve done well.

When a child masters a task, they feel a great sense of accomplishment. This in turn boosts their self-esteem and confidence in themselves and sets them up for success.

As adults, we sometimes get impatient or feel too busy and instead of giving our children responsibilities, we feel it’s just quicker and easier to do it ourselves. In the long run we are doing our child a disservice when this is the case.

Another interesting thought is, how about re-framing the word “chores” and calling them “responsibilities”, “ways to be helpful”, or “family contributions”. Emphasize, it’s every family members responsibility to help take care of themselves and one another. Children are much more willing to help around the house when they view these tasks as a meaningful way to contribute to the family.

Offering choices often increases a child’s willingness to help around the house. You might ask, “Do you want to take out the trash or sweep the kitchen?”

Parents are a child’s first teacher and learning how to live responsibly within the family unit gives a child, life skills that they will continue to use throughout their life.

The end goal is raising a human being that can confidently function out in the world on their own, knowing how to do their own laundry, cook, get a job, manage their finances, and understand that what they accomplish is their responsibility.

25 Ways to Build a Child’s Confidence & Teach Them How to Be Responsible